I felt a sense of overwhelming emotions tonight as I swayed my girl to sleep. I will never get tired of listening to her lullaby on her sound machine, snuggling and rocking her to sleep. One day she’ll be too big for Mommy’s lap, too mature for Goodnight Moon, and maybe too much of a mom herself, that I am going to savior every waking moment with her.
Tonight as my arms fell numb and my feet got tired, my eyes filled with tears. I prayed to whatever higher power is up above in the heavens and just said “thank you”. Thank you for this life. Thank you for one more day to be her momma, for one more day to be his wife, and one more day to have breath in my lungs.
Eighteen years ago a Mother like me did her very same bedtime routine-dinner,bath, songs and prayers-for the very last time. She was tired and she still gave her little girl her every ounce of energy, to instill a sense of safety, love and protection. She got up enough energy herself to walk downstairs and shower herself, wash her hair after 4 days of dry shampoo, and slipped into bed next to her husband -who happened to fall asleep before they said goodnight. She didn’t think anything of it though, she’ll make up for lost time tomorrow night as she promises herself that she’ll put the kids to sleep earlier to have a little more alone time.
But tomorrow, bedtime doesn’t come. Rocking her baby doesn’t come. Feeling overwhelmed as a mom, a wife and an everyday worker doesn’t come. She never got her extra alone time, she never said goodnight to her husband, she didn’t even get to say goodbye, or I love you one last time. Because on the morning of September 11, 2001, America would be shaken. Not only this family would lose their beloved Momma, but thousands of other families and lives would be changed and lost.
Take the time to tell those you love that you love them, that you care, that whatever time we have here on this Earth was the best time spent with them. Tomorrow is a gift, not a promise.
To those we loved and lost, and those still fighting a fight; thank you.